From Quiet to Confident: How Stuttering Helped Me Step Into an Extroverted Life
- National Stuttering Association
- 12 hours ago
- 4 min read
For many people who stutter (PWS), being quiet feels safer. As kids or teens, we may have learned that speaking up invites stares, interruptions, or worse—mocking or laughter. Over time, we adapt. We avoid reading aloud. We let others order for us. We smile or walk away entirely instead of introducing ourselves.
These behaviors aren’t personality quirks. They’re survival strategies.
But they can also lead us to misidentify ourselves as shy or “just not a people person.” Sometimes, we label ourselves as introverts—not because that’s who we actually are, but because silence was the only safe option for us growing up.
The Turning Point: When Hiding Isn’t Enough
At some point, many of us reach a moment of reckoning. Maybe it’s a group project in college. A job interview. A colleague who says, “You don’t talk much.”
For PWS, that moment can feel absolutely terrifying—but also freeing, because it opens the door to something new. It finally shifts from “How do I avoid stuttering?” to “How do I show up fully—even if I stutter?”
“Even when I still stuttered, I began speaking up when I realized that my communication partners were more interested in what I had to say than how I said it. As people who stutter, we can hyper-fixate on the way in which we speak. When I started to let go of the need to be perfectly fluent, it became apparent that my communication partners paid little attention to the ‘how’ of my speech and were only concerned with the content of our discussions.” — Mackenzie Smith, a person who stutters
What It Means to Become an Extrovert—On Your Terms
Let’s be clear: Extroversion doesn’t mean you just… never feel nervous. It doesn’t mean stuttering disappears. And it doesn’t mean you become the loudest person in the room. What it does mean is you speak up, even when it’s hard, you start conversations, you share your story, and you get it through your brain that connection matters more than fluency.
“I remember being told by adults in my life that what I had to say was worth waiting for. It made me realize that what I was saying was far more important than how I said it.” — Edmund Metzold, a person who stutters
Tips for Building Communication Confidence
Whether you’re naturally quiet or learning to come out of your shell, here’s how to build social confidence while honoring your voice:
Join a community where stuttering is normal
Being around others who stutter changes everything. You hear stories like yours. You stop feeling alone. You realize that stuttering doesn’t need to be hidden or fixed.
“I stopped trying to ‘fix’ my stuttering when I realized that we as humans are all uniquely different, each with our own complexities and quirks. For so long, I wrestled with the idea that my speech must conform to that of a ‘typical’ speaker. However, this act of conforming would essentially erase a large part of what made me, me.” — Mackenzie Smith
Start small, but start often
Say hi to a cashier. Share your opinion in a group call. Introduce yourself in a Zoom meeting. Confidence is built in tiny moments of courage.
Use disclosure to take control
Letting people know you stutter can ease pressure and invite connection. Try something simple like, “Just so you know, I stutter. Thanks for your patience.”
Celebrate your wins (yes, even the “small” ones)
Did you speak up, even if you stuttered through every word? That’s a win. Every time you use your voice, you're practicing being seen.
“There have been so many moments when doing theatre where I had to make the choice between being fluent but emotionless, or emote while stuttering. I almost always chose the latter, which helped me choose self-expression in real life as well.” — Edmund Metzold
Redefining the Narrative
There’s no “right” way to be a person who stutters. Some PWS are introverts. Others are extroverts. Many are somewhere in between. What matters most isn’t where you fall on the spectrum—but whether you feel empowered to communicate as you are.
You don’t have to change your personality to grow. But if silence has been a protective shield, it’s okay to put it down. Stuttering doesn’t have to make your world smaller. Sometimes, it’s the very thing that pushes you to grow bigger and braver.
“I realized that confidence does not depend on fluency when I started observing those around me—in the workplace, with friends, and in public spaces. When you really listen, it becomes clear that no one's speech is 100% fluent 100% of the time. We all stumble, mispronounce, rephrase, and for some, stutter. This is inherently what makes us imperfectly human.” — Mackenzie Smith
Final Thoughts
The journey from introversion to extroversion isn’t about changing who you are in every sense of the word—it’s about reclaiming who you were before fear took the mic. You don’t have to be fluent to be social. You don’t have to be fast to be heard. You just have to show up and speak in your own way.
“Never be the one to tell yourself you cannot do something. You have to be your biggest supporter. If you aren't, there's no telling how many incredible opportunities you may let pass you by in fear of what others may think. Your thoughts and opinions matter, and the way in which you convey them does not take away from the messages themselves.” — Mackenzie Smith