From Anguish to Strength: DM Forker’s Journey Through Stuttering

DM Forker

Meet DM Forker: He’s 52 years old, a criminal investigator, an author, and a person who stutters. He has stuttered his entire life. He has an identical twin, who does not stutter. His grandfather, whom he never met, had a stutter, and so does his eldest daughter.

In March 2025, he self-published a book, “WAR for WORDS.” This book is his life story and provides insight into his stuttering journey. He wanted someone who does not stutter to feel the anguish and struggle accompanying his speech. He also wanted to emphasize within the book that you can accomplish any of your life goals, even with the challenges that can come with having a stutter. 

The National Stuttering Association (NSA) emailed DM a few questions. His responses have been lightly trimmed and edited for brevity and grammatical purposes. 

NSA: You mentioned wanting fluent readers to feel the anguish and struggle through your book. Was it tough to be that raw and vulnerable on the page? What surprised you most in the writing process?

Forker: I left the book completely raw, open, and honest. It wasn’t difficult. It was almost therapeutic. Using my written words to tell the story of my spoken words was a good release for me. Spilling my emotions onto the page felt like taking stones out of my backpack and throwing them into a lake, lessening the load I have carried for so long on my life journey. In its infancy, the book was only to be read by my wife, children, and grandchildren, to show them they can become what they want to be in this life, and not let situations or people hold them back. So when I decided to release my written project for all the world to read, I was nervous. The questions that stirred in my gray matter were, “What will people think? How will my friends and coworkers react to me after reading a book with so much raw emotion and my personal story?” The response, for the most part, has been positive, which is what I choose to focus on. As in most things, some negatives will arise, but you deal with them and push forward. I focus on the positive because my sole purpose for releasing my life story for the masses to read is to help others. If I could make a full-time career out of helping others with speech differences, I would do that. I have a heart for it. I am a big believer that if you can help others, you not only enrich their life but also your own life as well. I wanted to show people that if you keep pushing forward even in tough situations, you can accomplish more than letting your situation rule over you.

Spilling my emotions onto the page felt like taking stones out of my backpack and throwing them into a lake, lessening the load I have carried for so long on my life journey. - DM Forker

This book has taken me 15 years to complete. Looking back, I’m happy it took me 15 years to write. It helped me change my outlook and have more life experiences with my speech, so that I can share more. During the process, I noticed that I write more eloquently than I speak; I can express myself more vividly on the page than in person, and I actually like that fact. I think that’s why I love and enjoy the power of the written word.

NSA: You mentioned your grandfather stuttered and your daughter does too, but fascinatingly, your twin brother doesn’t. How has stuttering shaped your family conversations across generations, and what has this taught you?

Forker: My grandfather, whom I never met, stuttered. I was told he was a hard man, a hard worker, a fighter, and never backed down. I believe some of his traits, like stuttering, toughness, and resilience, were passed down to me. My stuttering is generational: my grandfather stuttered, I stutter, and my oldest daughter stutters. 

We grew up in the late 70s and 80s. As a kid who stuttered back then, not much help was offered. My parents are good people, let’s get that right. They also came from a hard generation. You work hard and don’t talk about your problems, so my stuttering was never discussed. It was the generation that if you don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist, and it might go away. My stuttering never went away. I was left to deal with a speech difference I couldn’t understand. Why was I the only kid who couldn’t speak “correctly”? Why was I getting laughed at and mocked daily? As a child, how do you deal with that alone? That brought me into a world of isolation and struggle at a young age that would become my constant companions for my entire life. I had to advocate for myself and navigate the waves of emotional self-loathing that accompanied my journey. Being alone and searching for help would make up my entire childhood. 

Fast forward to when I became a father. Anyone who knows me knows my family is my priority! So when my oldest daughter showed signs of developing a stutter, it broke my heart. I knew the pain, sorrow, and loneliness I went through because of my struggle to speak. I was going to do everything in my power to keep that from happening to my daughter. 

We decided to homeschool her. My school years were a torturous hell for me. The mocking and being laughed at daily is very hard for a child to overcome when it’s a daily routine. We also had frequent stuttering conversations at home. I ensured her feelings, emotions, and questions were heard and addressed. We would practice speaking techniques and how to handle situations that might arise. She entered the public school at the junior high level. She thrived, graduated high school with honors, was homecoming queen, graduated college with honors, and is now a terrific mother herself. 

I am beyond proud of her and my other daughter as well. I believe the environment you grow up in plays a role in how you can adapt and overcome the challenges of having a speech difference. Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist; talk about it, be supportive, and advocate for your children. Support goes a long way in helping that child to be successful in life.

NSA: Can you tell us what you do for a career, what your day-to-day duties are, and how you navigate the workplace and interact with coworkers as someone who stutters?

Forker: I am currently an investigator for a sheriff’s office. I wanted to be a law enforcement officer as a child. Our family had a couple of law enforcement officers, and it seemed very interesting from a young age. But at a young age and struggling with my speech, I never really knew if this would be possible. As I grew older, I heard some individuals say that becoming a law enforcement officer with a stutter would never be possible. That advice proved to be untrue. 

It was definitely a challenge to get my current position, and it felt like climbing a mountain. Rocky, with some trails leading nowhere, only to find another trail to go down. I went on countless interviews and did numerous physical, mental, and intellectual tests over the span of years. I was rejected many times, all relating to my speech. I was a good candidate in all aspects, except… my speech was a “problem.” Law enforcement interviews are typically in front of a board, made up of several uniformed officers and administration. I actually spoke with some officers who were on some of those boards years after the interview. They told me I was their choice but were outvoted, mostly by the administration, which saw my stuttering as a liability. 

I was eventually hired at my current agency as a deputy. I had to go through an 8-week probationary period with my field training officer (FTO). That entailed riding along with my FTO and learning how the job was done. After several weeks of just watching, I was in the driver's seat and actually doing the job under watchful eyes. To say it was overwhelming is an understatement. The information you must know as an officer is immense. The radio is our lifeline to let other officers know what is happening and where. It is our communication system. Using a code, we communicate with other officers and our dispatcher, who usually directs us where to go and the details of the situation as best they know. Using the radio was difficult for me. Speaking on demand under stress is not easy. My FTO would do an evaluation after every shift. This carried on for 8 weeks. Each evaluation was positive and the only criticism was to use the radio more and get more comfortable with using it. I graduated from FTO after 8 weeks and was sent to the 16-week intensive training academy. 

In the academy, you take weekly tests covering the law and procedures. You take a total of over 20 tests while at the academy. If you fail a test, you get one retake. If you fail again, you are kicked out. That alone is stressful. At that point, you are sent back to your agency and, most of the time, you are fired and have no job. That wasn’t an option for me. Through the academy, you also have physical testing and standards to maintain. The first day, you are split into groups and assigned a head duty officer. These officers are instructors. We were to report any issues to them and they were to take it up the chain of command if necessary. I told my head duty officer about my stutter. They thanked me for telling them and told me to do my best. I graduated in the top 10 of my class and became a deputy. 

After graduation, I was told my FTO, who quit before I graduated, was telling others that I would never make it and that the academy would “eat me alive.” This is why I say don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. He didn’t believe in me—I didn’t need him to. I have found that people who stutter are resilient. We have had to fight through things. That’s our journey, and we will and do find ways to overcome. 

As a deputy, my daily routine was making traffic stops for speeding, driving under the influence, crossing over the center line, etc. I also took reports of theft, vandalism, and vehicle accidents. I then received an unsolicited promotion to investigator. Being an investigator is a lot more involved. I interview individuals and investigate all aspects of crimes. I have investigated deaths, sexual assaults, burglaries, assaults, fraud, child abuse, and drugs, to name a few. I also testify in court. I write detailed reports, subpoenas, and search warrants. I have led search warrants on homes and businesses. 

Search warrant execution, when you knock in doors and search for individuals and evidence, is probably the most exciting part of the job. That and high-speed pursuits. But most of the job is interacting with people and mountains of paperwork. They say law enforcement is a stressful career, and it is for sure. I have seen more than most people will ever see in two lifetimes. I often quote the line from the movie A League of Their Own, “I’ve seen enough to know I’ve seen too much.” 

How do I navigate all my career has to throw at me with my stuttering? Well, I wish I could say it’s all fluency all the time. That would be a bold-faced lie. I still have moderate to slightly severe stuttering at times. During interviews, I stutter. I never disclose it upfront. It happens and I carry on like it never happened. I have never been questioned about my stuttering. Some individuals I speak with see it as a weakness they can use. They think because I stutter I’m not smart. Not true! My stuttering can be used as an asset. But most of all, I am empathetic and respectful to all. Stuttering has taught me that the world has enough jerks; I don’t need to be one. Several individuals shake my hand and even hug me before I close the jail cell on them. They thank me for treating them like a human. I tell them we are all humans. We all make mistakes and I’m no better than anyone just because of a badge I wear. Yes, I do stutter on the job. But no one has ever questioned me about it to my face. 

My coworkers have all read my book, and I have had an overwhelmingly positive response from them. So keep pushing forward, and don’t put limits on yourself. At 52 years of age, I’m still pushing forward to see what life has next for me.

NSA: What are some of the proudest moments in your life that have nothing to do with “perfect speech,” but everything to do with resilience or character?

Forker: My proudest moments are how my children grew up to be amazing young women. You always want your children to be more than what you are. They both have gone above and beyond that mark. Being a person who stutters in my younger years, I didn’t know if anyone would even want to date me, let alone marry me. So when a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, cute girl was interested in me, I was beyond amazed. She is such a wonderful queen, mother, and person. She has such a kind soul and bubbly personality. Marrying her and having two beautiful daughters are the proudest moments of my life. Everything else is icing on the cake.

NSA: If you were sitting across from someone young who stutters and feels discouraged, what would you tell them to help them carry forward?

Forker: If I had the opportunity to speak to the young person who stutters and is discouraged today, I would first say I have truly been there. I know your discouragement, anxiety, and pain. But you are stronger than you think you are. You can overcome and do more than you think you can right now. Never quit trying new things. You may fail; in fact, you will fail at some things. Remember, everyone fails. I have failed so many times. That’s how you learn. Get back up and try again. It will sometimes be difficult, but find someone you can talk to. Express yourself to them. Express your fears, anxiety, and pain to them. Then make a plan of action to move forward and accomplish your goals and dreams. 

I have been told NO so many times in my life because of my speech. People have told me, “You will never do this or that because of your stutter.” In my head, I always took that as a challenge. It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many times you get back up. And you get back up every time! Believe in yourself, ask for help, and express yourself, whether in the written word, music, art, or whatever it might be. You have something to say; let the world hear it. Get your words out into the world. You only get one life. Don’t let other people put their expectations on your life. It’s your life; they have their own, so don’t let them tell you what you can’t do. Don’t let them put limitations on you, and don’t put limitations on yourself. Try new things. Just because we speak differently doesn’t mean we can’t impact the world by living up to our full potential. Never stop pushing forward.

NSA: You’ve been on this journey with stuttering for decades. If you could hop on a time machine and give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?

Forker: It would be to accept your stutter as a part of you. Don’t fight against it so hard, but embrace it. When I say don’t fight against it so hard, I don’t mean you can’t try to better your speech, but accept it as a journey. Let it teach you the life lessons it has for you. It will teach you about people, the good and the bad. It will teach you empathy and how to treat others in the right way. It will teach you to be strong and that you can push through hard situations. Embrace it and it will shape you into who you will become.

My stuttering can be used as an asset; I am empathetic and respectful to all. Stuttering has taught me that the world has enough jerks; I don't need to be one. Several individuals shake my hand and even hug me before I close the jail cell on them. They thank me for treating them like a human. I tell them, 'we're all human!'" - DM Forker

For more information and resources about stuttering, visit the NSA website at WeStutter.org.