Reframing the Narrative: How to Talk About Stuttering at Home

How families talk about stuttering—whether intentional or not—shapes how children who stutter feel about their voices, their worth, and their ability to communicate.

If there’s one thing children are good at, it’s internalizing (even when something has nothing to do with them, such as divorce). So if a child repeatedly hears or sees from others, even implicitly, that stuttering is bad, that it’s something to fix or hide, they may begin to internalize feelings and beliefs of shame and defectiveness. This can lead to anxiety, complete avoidance, or overwhelming reluctance to speak in certain situations for the sake of self-preservation. 

On the other hand, if stuttering is treated as a natural part of a child's speech, they can begin to feel confident in who they are. This can help develop healthy internal narratives around stuttering and encourage them to speak up in all situations. 

Reframing how we talk about stuttering is a significant first step toward creating a more supportive home environment. Here’s how to start. 

Affirming Language You Can Use

Small but mindful shifts in language can significantly impact your child who stutters for the better. Affirming phrases tell them they are valued and supported as a person, regardless of how quickly they speak.

Here are some examples:

• “Take a deep breath.” → “I’m listening. Take your time.”

• “Slow down.” → “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

• “You stuttered, let’s try that again.” → “That was a great thought.”

• “You don’t have to talk.” → “You’re welcome to speak however you like.”

“When Liam speaks with strangers, I will nod along as he talks, which signals to him that he’s OK. If people finish his sentence for him, I’ll often say, ‘Hm, maybe. Liam, is that what you wanted to say?’ By asking curiously, it cues the listener that maybe he didn’t get to say what he intended and gently points out that they interrupted him.” — Katie Aus, mother of Liam, a 13-year-old person who stutters

You are your child’s biggest role model and example. You are showing them how they should be treated. These phrases communicate patience and respect. They help children understand that their voice is welcome in all conversations.

Building a Supportive Communication Environment

A truly supportive environment isn’t defined by fluency—it’s rooted in building confidence and fostering meaningful communication. And that kind of environment matters everywhere: at home, in the workplace, among friends, and beyond. 

Here are some strategies to help create safe and empathetic communication at home:

Model calm conversation. When conversations feel calm and unhurried, it can be easier for your child to participate without feeling rushed to respond.

Practice full-body listening. Give your child your full attention. Maintain eye contact, nod, and show that you are engaged. Avoid interrupting or finishing their sentences as much as possible. 

Celebrate ideas, not delivery. Focus on what your child says. Express interest in their ideas, observations, and stories without commenting on how they speak. Avoid praising them for their fluency.

Validate the emotions. If your child appears frustrated or upset, acknowledge and validate that. Say things like “That sounded hard” or “I understand that was frustrating for you” without immediately trying to fix it.

Stuttering can, and often does, affect more than just someone’s speech. It may impact how a child relates to peers and how they express themselves in different situations. Your consistent support can build their emotional resilience and self-trust, which are absolute must-have traits for anyone who stutters.

“Connecting Liam with the NSA through the Annual Conference has had the biggest impact on his becoming more comfortable with his speech. I often remind him that just like he had never met anyone who stuttered before the Conference, when people interact with him, he might be the first person they’ve met who stutters. I remind him that it’s normal for people to be curious and to use their questions to tell people what he’d like them to know about stuttering.” — Katie Aus

What If You Stutter Too?

Some parents of children who stutter are people who stutter themselves. If that’s you, you may carry your own memories of struggle, shame, or being totally misunderstood. You may still be working through those feelings and memories—and that’s actually completely normal.

Your experience is valuable. If you feel ready, sharing your story with your child can be extremely helpful in helping them feel less alone in their stuttering experience. It also models self-acceptance and can create a strong foundation of shared understanding. 

“I grew up surrounded by stuttering in my family—both my dad and my brother stutter. Because of that, I never felt completely alone in my experience. My family always reminded me that I was more than my stutter and that it didn’t define my abilities. I also learned from them that I am an effective communicator, even if I don’t sound like the ‘typical’ speaker. That support helped me embrace my voice with pride and confidence.” — Glorida Urrego, a person who stutters

You don't need to have everything figured out to be a great parent! Being open and willing to grow matters more than you know.

“I’m a parent who stutters and the mother of a 4-year-old boy. Stuttering isn’t something we’ve had a big conversation about—it’s just a natural part of who I am. Sometimes he corrects me, and that’s okay. I simply tell him, ‘That’s how Mommy talks.’ I don’t feel the need to point it out or label it—he understands that my stutter is just one piece of me. My hope is that through this, he learns empathy, patience, and compassion for others.” — Dana Koprowski, a parent who stutters

What Matters Most

Children who stutter do not need perfect words. They need people who listen. They need to know that they are safe to speak as they are. They need to know that their thoughts are worth hearing and that the worth of their voice is not defined by fluency.

“I create a sheet for his teachers with ways they can help him be successful in school. In the younger grades, we did little gifts for his classmates who advocated for him. He had an IEP when he was in public school and I made sure that all of his accommodations were included and focused on acceptance instead of strategies.” — Katie Aus

Reframing how stuttering is talked about at home is one of the most impactful steps a parent can take. It turns communication into a space of belonging. You have the power to make that difference. 

The National Stuttering Association (NSA) supports you every step of the way. Click here for helpful information about stuttering and tailored resources for parents and families!