When the Voice in Your Head Is Louder Than the Stutter
The hardest part of speaking sometimes isn't the act of speaking itself. It's the 10 seconds before and after the interaction. It's the inner voice telling you, "I should have said this word instead," or, "They're going to think I'm incompetent because it took me 2 minutes to say something that someone else could have said in 30 seconds."
My inner voice is something I fight with regularly and it can be quite loud and disruptive. When the voice presses in and I feel like I can't escape, I take a deep breath and remember that I have the power. I can change my inner monologue to whatever I want it to be. My body is my vessel and I am in control of my thoughts.
In a world where presentations feel big and staff meetings feel stressful, the ability to remain positive in the face of adversity is an asset to the person who stutters. And I'm not talking about toxic positivity; I'm talking about realistic positivity. Speaking situations can be tough, and that is something we need to acknowledge, but there is a way to remain positive without forcing the feelings. We don't need to silence the inner voice; we need to shift its content.
What does shifting the content look like?
"That took me 2 minutes to say; I could have done better." → "I got my point across and the listener received the information."
"I sounded incompetent." → "I know what I am talking about and I got the information to the appropriate parties."
"My stutter makes me difficult to listen to." → "My words are important and worth waiting for."
"I need to hide my stutter." → "This is how I talk and I don't owe anyone fluency."
These content shifts can have a big impact on how you approach speaking opportunities. If you approach these challenges with an optimistic attitude and a focus on delivering the message, you are more likely to exude confidence to your audience and leave the conversation with a sense of triumph.
No one is saying you must say "I love my stutter" because chances are you don't. And that’s fine. However, developing the ability to reframe your inner voice from criticism to realistic, upbeat self-talk is a skill that will help you in your professional journey.
When we focus on shifting the content of our inner voice from inherently negative to upbeat and positive, we aren't just changing what we hear. We are changing how we arrive at and picture work. When you approach work-related speaking opportunities with a shift in your inner voice, the entire job feels lighter and less stressful than before.
